Real Men are Feminists

 

This blog is written with profound gratitude to all the special men and women who have supported my dreams as a composer even though I was born female.  

Some years ago realised that I would need to develop a strong sense of humour in relation to the continuing occasional hidden sexism that I encounter as a composer. It is often subtle but can feel like a sad rock in the stomach.

'I worked with another lady pianist' says a singer recently. What is a lady pianist ?  I think. Surely he saw from my email that I have a doctorate and that I am his conductor?

 'How to you identify sexually' a form for a composition residency from Snape requests. ' I identify as a successful male composer ' I write with a sense of ironic desperation and get the residency, although I now would say, I identify as a successful composer, period! 

As a woman who composes it is still not a good idea to express strong views or heaven forfend be trenchant however it is perfectly ok to be strong if you are male. When are we all going to wake up ? Women are not going to go away, we are people too.

 'Who are you?' a top publisher (a woman) parries at me in an opera conference break. 'I am Susannah Self, a composer' She visibly sighs. 'Oh women composers they are so lightweight'. I have already noted she has only one woman on her roster, but I hold my cool and dig into my humour sack. 'Perhaps you would like to have lunch so that we can discuss the future of women composers otherwise your publishing house could join the dinosaurs?' She weakly laughs and we have an amenable lunch although I doubt the lady is for turning.

In a cross section of contemporary operas staged by major opera companies in period 2016/2019 the five that I saw featured a proliferation of male protagonists: Harrison Birtwistle’s The Minotaur (2008), George Benjamin’s Written on Skin (2012) and Lessons in Love and Violence (2018), Hector Parra’s Les Bienveillantes (2019) and Wolfgang Rihm’s Jacob Lenz (2015). 

'Opera director Phyllida Lloyd says there is a conversation ‘that is being had amongst women in the theatre, about the dearth of great roles for women over a certain age, and also [how] job opportunities are much narrower forwomen who are of unconventional size, shape, accent, ethnic origin, whatever.’ 

(Saner, 2016: The Guardian)

' You conduct rather well for a.... ' Oops! The male adjudicator at a conducting competition (2014) trails away his words having realised it was wrong but then goes on to put his foot in it in a private moment with me by saying 'I don't like it that you are so tall'. What the ...! Three years later, 2017, a French newspaper publishes a diatribe by a French conductor who says that women shouldn't conduct ' because they are only suitable for the biological purpose of making babies'. I respond by creating a provocation with my creative partner Marina Sossi. We dress identically as conductors and hand out the pathetic article to passers by who are invited to read it and then do with the paper what they feel like such as crumpling it up in rage or attaching it to us. Most people are incredulous and shocked that someone would even dare to say this.

In the light of these occasional ongoing experiences it is hardly a surprise that I have sometimes wondered if I would have been better off as a man. But the truth is I don't identify as a man or a woman but as a person. I have always climbed trees, played football, made mud pies and lived out my dreams. I have been supported by an amazing Dad and the best male husband I could wish for, another composer brilliant composer in his own right but totally supportive, and yes real men are feminists.