Composing Retreat at The Cosy Nook: Day 2
On The Numinous
It is a good day for composing. Outside the blustery winds are reminiscent of Britten's Peter Grimes being blown into the pub scene by a raging storm " Now the Great Bear....". https://youtu.be/JvExTkWxLlI Peter Pears sings. Mid-morning I grab a moment's break from my score as the sun temporarily comes out and explore the extensive gardens of The Red House. Unexpected discoveries of sculptures in the grass that Britten and Pears collected, enchant me. Wind chimes play energetically. This is a magical day.
View from The Cosy Nook to The Red House
Composing a work based on Julian of Norwich's Revelations of Divine Love presents me with many ethical and personal questions. The acceptability of someone having spiritual visions today is tricky when they could just as easily be be regarded as having some form of delusion or narcissistic personality disorder. Yet there are also reports of similar delirium associated with severe life threatening cases of Covid. Julian had a high fever when she had her visions, she could have even been suffering from the Black Death. She was expected to die but miraculously survived. Therefore her story relates to my research of creating works that explore similarities between ancient and current histories. Like so many of the subjects that I choose such as Dante, Jung, Parks, Dickinson, it is the symbology of their stories that interests me. As a composer I am not seeking to present fact but instead to heighten an appreciation of a unique experience. Returning to Julian's case, her visions are fanatical and yet it cannot be denied that her words have and continue to carry a Universal appeal. Julian's spirituality feels upbeat. Personally, I sense that her interpretations could subliminally reach further back in time as far as the great goddess. A clue to her non-patriarchal approach to spirituality is found via the way in which she frequently refers to God as the great mother. Her numinous experience is therefore, made special by its inexplicability. Her work doesn't need to prove anything, instead it is replaced by a wonderment at a precious mystery.
Reeds in the Snape marshes
After lunch with another break in the weather I walk out of Aldeburgh past the golf club towards Snape. There are vast views of estuary water and marshes backlit by sunbeams. The wind in the reeds is soft and hypnotic. Time spent in nature away from my score is invaluable. It is here that I work through my psychic pondering and questions. The heath-like quality of the shoreline reminds me of a similar place at my parents cottage in Sussex. This leads me to think of them profoundly. Even though they are long gone, I start to talk to them, saying how great they were and how I feel that my Mum's depression was a product of society's imbalance toward women and how my Dad did his very best to right this. I walk out of the boggy marshes up a modest hill and it starts to rains. But the sun breaks through dark clouds. I know there will be a rainbow. Did you know that everyones perception of a rainbow is individual? This is to do with our unique optical set up. In my case I saw an outstanding rainbow, even this photo below gives a reasonable impression. For me, symbolically, I had just been talking to my dead parents. As the rainbow intensified against the clouds two white doves flew into view.
Rainbow on the walk between Aldeburgh and Snape
I think of Julian's well known phrase:
All shall be well,
And all shall be well
And all manner of thing shall be well
Dad reflected Julian's viewpoint when our cousin's 18 year old daughter was dying of cancer or even when he faced the end. This I realise is why Julian's message is so powerful and why I am compelled to compose music about it even though it is a complex and sometimes confusing task. I watch the rainbow till it disappears. First one side fades, then the other as though it is drinking in the lost side. It reminds me of my parents swift exits, both with instant heat attacks. The large field now looks dull without a magnificent rainbow, but the memory of it is alive in my imagination: forever magical and numinous.
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