For the whole of my life I have been in flight from depression, you know, the type that has no particular reason. Mostly my escape routes have worked: hyper activity, creativity, unbound anger and super charged sex to name but a few. Imagine for a moment a small child (me) running away from the path of a tornado. Ground-hog day brings it whirring out of the sky on a regular basis and more so now. Why? Well of course I have my theories, but let’s not go there just yet. What I am more interested in is the power of certain types of music to counter depressive thoughts. We will all have our individual preferences here but there is a deeper factor at work and that is that the music for healing needs to be gentle, nurturing, kind and supportive. Therefore, a lot of music that I normally love does not fulfil this criteria such as Wagner’s Parsifal – too reverential and sombre, The Rite of Spring – too peculiar and over stimulating, Bach’s music – too numinous and special for depression, Gruppen by Stockhausen, too tender and brutal. Even my own symphonic compositions don’t fit the bill.
Journey: A meditative moment in HER BODY: Self, 2021.
Commissioned by Tête a Tête
(photo credit: Claire Shovelton)
It was during the period when I presented yearly at The Esalen Institute at Big Sur in California and at Rancho La Puerta in New Mexico that I alighted on the idea of creating and composing a special kind of music that would solely fit the purpose of inducing a meditative type state in which a person’s ability to heal their own psyche is activated and accelerated. The idea came to me from Jung’s approach to psychoanalysis which is to allow the analysand to find their own internal path to mental health. The analyst merely acts as a colleague on the journey and their self-revelation in the process is paramount. In a similar way I decided to channel the composing of a type of music that I sensed could heal and enliven a saddened mind. The resulting works are in deep contrast to the classical contemporary music that I compose. The musical expressions are far more relaxed and augmented so as to create a sense of timelessness. Here is an example of my latest work. You need to allow half an hour to experience this, and follow the suggestions in the film. I composed and created this together with the film last summer on the island of Skyros in Greece where I lead kayaking adventures and teach Dynamic Beach Art inspired by the work of Rauschenberg, Cage and Cunningham. I filmed from the water all the sacred sites in the bay of Atsitsa which are only reachable by kayak. As the magical water meets the complex rocks, a metaphor for life develops: The containing, nurturing sea, her depth, her understanding and caressing which rubs up against the set requirements of life embedded in the rocks.
But let’s return specifically to my lowered mood difficulties. What is it all about? Probably the roots are in my mother’s breakdown when I was born and her subsequent recurring clinical depressions during my childhood. I was very lonely with her during that time so in a way I need to allow the memory of these feelings to come back and face up to them and move through them. The Sound Healing music allows me to do this in a way in which I feel held. When I deliver sound healing to an individual or a group I put the temenos or holding of that person’s soul and feelings at the very centre of my attention. There are studies at McGill University in Canada to show scientifically how brain waves can be lowered to Alpha and Beta by administering specifically designed sounds and music. What I am therefore aiming for with Sound Healing work is to simultaneously relax and stimulate the brain and psyche so as to re-generate itself. A person with lowered mood not only needs reassurance and comfort but also energy and enlivening. Hence my Sound Healing tracks feature meditative and energised sections. I want to stress that I am not trying to prove anything but instead provide an enjoyable holistic method which can significantly improve our inner life. Clinical depression may well require a different level of intervention. I would love to collaborate on a research project to see how Sound Healing could help in its treatment. With this in mind I am on the look-out to collaborate with clinical researchers. All I can say for the moment is that many people who have experienced my Sound Healing sessions have said that they felt enlivened and re-generated.
My next retreats at The ARC in Coastal North Norfolk can be booked via this link:
http://www.selfmademusic.co.uk/smmevents.php
Also look out for www.skyros.com summer 2023 programmes where I present Sound Healing alongside Kayaking and Dynamic Beach Art. To finish, here are two more online Sound Healing sessions for you to experience. I would very much appreciate it if you could press the subscribe button on my you tube channel, it's free!
